it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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