Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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