I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
