I need help removing her.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
