so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
