i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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