You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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