your room smells of hookers.
And success
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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