The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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