Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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