Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Even my vagina gasped.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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