how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
