The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
