He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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