i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
