He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
