I want to make a zoo with you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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