Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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