Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
