Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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