So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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