I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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