Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
