Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
