Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
