There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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