is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
