I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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