He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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