Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
