oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
