I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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