I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
