i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
