i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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