I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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