he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
