3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Randomize
