yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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