I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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