Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
