no. you can't hotbox the world.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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