Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Boobs are out for the taking
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize