Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize