Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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