It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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