Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
