I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
