NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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