You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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