i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
