you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
