she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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