Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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