either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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