Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
