you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
