Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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