Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
