Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
