you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
