it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
