i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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