I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
