six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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