Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
