SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
